♥7 February 2012♥
Tuesday, February 7, 2012 | 3:50 AM | 0 hearts♥
Well, I haven't been blogging cause like usual no time to blog.
2012 is going bad for me, I've been rejected
to the course i want and now I'm applying for April intake
hopefully i get in that course. Another problem is I found
out that the people I'm close to are talking behind my back hais.
People are bring me down like very badly even my bestfriend, well I
don't want you to love me if you don't wanna love me for me.
I've lost a friend before, you know is hard to please everyone and
i can never please everyone, i give up already!
I was used and abuse before and i understand people who go through all this.
I want to be the one who stand up for all this people.
I'm not rich, I can't go to many photoshoot and I don't have a pretty face
but don't say that this person look better than me. There are more gays who look better than
me but I'm ME don't compare me with other people.
Life is really a bitch!
♥24 November 2011♥
Thursday, November 24, 2011 | 2:09 AM | 0 hearts♥
Hey , today nothing much has happen .
at about 11AM i went for my photoshoot without sleeping .
Gosh , i hope the photos come out beautifully .
I'll be getting my photos mail tomorrow through my email :)
It's been a long time since i've been updating my
facebook so i hope the photos will make my profile alive .
I'm so damn sleepy so i'm gonna head to bed now .
SweetDreams ♥
This was after my photoshoot . Different ?
#My fringe was part on the other side
#Red lipstick , never did red lipstick before
♥23 November 2011♥
Wednesday, November 23, 2011 | 1:10 AM | 0 hearts♥
Ohh come on god , why are you doing this to me ?
might as well you just take my life .
I think i have suffer enough depression already , does Singapore
have rehab center ? I'm sorry to all my friends who i have disappoint .
I really do understand if you wanna leave .
Nazrinah is the only one who understands me for this moment .
She keeps on asking me to smile but i can't .
My world is broken down in to so many piece and you expect me to smile ?
but really thanks Naz for understanding me .
My blog is full of sadness right ? I really don't even want it to be this way
how i wish i can just start of my blog with "I'm really Happy"
but i guess it doesn't work that way .
I did try giving up on LOVE but , a human without LOVE is like a human without bones .
What to do ? can only cry and cry until i can drown myself with my tears .
I wanna start dancing again and working and keep myself
really busy to not give a damn about LOVE .
kindda miss clubbing actually , miss being a slut :)
I'm free to be who i wanna be , don't tell me what to be or not to be .
don't think that even though i go club i go home with guys having my number
actually it only happens once , other than that they will just say i look sexy
and stuff like that cause i'm drunk and acting like a slut , so ya .
Hais , i also don't know what write already .
I think i better go to bed now and just try not to care about all this , and try to move on .
Goodnight , Sweetdreams Reader ♥
I hope and wish that the guy I can call my own will find me soon .
♥22 November 2011♥
Tuesday, November 22, 2011 | 12:33 AM | 0 hearts♥
I never planned that one day i'll be losing you .
Ex and That "bestie" .
I really hope and dream that everything will be okay , i should have
told you what you meant to me . I'm not daring to express
what's in my heart . If i can see my future that will be
such a relief , but for now i can just pray that my future will be good .
Every night i will be thinking "will i ever get married?"
"will i ever get attached?" "which of my friends will be on my side in the future?"
you know all this thoughts just irritated me , i can never stop thinking bout all this .
Some of my friends asked me to move on , but where can i go ?
Every night you know , thinking of you and also thinking will i ever
go to bed and thank god for giving me him and have a lovely sleep .
I really just hope he will be on my shoes and realize it's very hurtfully .
No, i don't want him back i just want him to realize that being in that situation
it's very hurtfully ! If we ever see each other , i will just look at him .
no point saying Hi to the person who was my hardest to say Bye to .
I seriously can't stand people asking me for Sex , i never had it and i don't wish too !
it's just that 2years ago people just wants to be in love and this year is all about
Sex Sex Sex ! It's so irritating . I'm not rushing to be in love , i want love
to be something magically for me not something that means nothing , cause
some of you feel nothing . My school Prom was today i didn't
go , if i were to attend i will dress as a girl XD
i thought it was a mask theme ? change already uh ? nevermynd it's over .
I know i've done alot of mistake in my life and some of them are gone
it's really to late to apologize . I'm not beauitful or good looking i know
there is some other better looking bapok . i need to smoke now . Goodnight .
she really hope and dream that everything will be okay .
♥21 November 2011♥
Monday, November 21, 2011 | 12:23 AM | 0 hearts♥
I'm so missing my 413 badly :'(
Well , same usual life , no job , no relationship additional fake friends .
seriously fake people i can't put up wit you anymore .
lately i don't even know who to trust anymore .
I cannot fake that i can live without having anyone who i can call
my own
you know ? this really sucks badly ! I will never give up in my life
and never am i gonna stop being who i am ,
if you wanna change me think twice , you can never change someone ,
it's all up to them . "I Love You" have i ever hear anyone
saying that to me ? excluding friends and family .
No matter what i do or how hard i try to change myself nobody
see that . I keep on saying i will be okay , but i'm not ! I'm may seems so
arrogant and fierce but you only know my name but not who i am
and you assume you know me very well !
I'm letting go cause i know i'm only half way there .
To my friends , they will always take me as their second choice .
but let me tell you that , even though you take me as your second choice
i always support you all this while and i never put anyone as my second choice .
I wanna be someone you can turn to , i love you all like i always do but
i don't think you all feel the same .
You know that everyone thinking that i will never commit in love , but
the actual thing is i never been in that situation and
i'm commit to love okay , if i'm in a relationship i will never want to lose him
there is nothing i won't do and i want him to socializes with my friends .
Guess that's all i want to say , i feel better typing it here feels like
half of the weight is lost . Okay , i'm gonna sleep soon and
feel free to ask me anything on my formspring or maybe i will put my
tag board there too . So till next time byebye :)
413 ♥
Jeremy:)
Of course i miss my member ♥
♥
My face without makeup look pretty much like that , & That's NurulAin :)
♥13 November 2011♥
Sunday, November 13, 2011 | 11:35 AM | 0 hearts♥
Helloooooo, is anybody here ? whatever .
Uhmm , Awkward i never been updating this blog because
i'm lazy to type my grandfather story ^^
Well i have became much fatter , fatty fatty boom boom lah .
Still single what you expect , just living my life like there's not tomorrow .
Well i haven't sleep yet from yesterday & now i hate the sun .
#NowPlaying "When i look at you By Miley Cyrus"
If i were to sleep now , i'm going to wake up at 6PM and then i can't
sleep and then the same routine .
Let's talk about ....
Seriously i have nothing in my mind now , i just wanna be love .
i wanna hold hands and kiss and hug and ohh godd , when will i ever have
A HAPPY ENDING .
Okay byebye , i wanna go to buy something .
♥24 october 2011♥
Monday, October 24, 2011 | 2:24 AM | 0 hearts♥
HappyBirthdayToMe :DSweetsixteen♥ i celebrate my advance birthday at my house .
and i really like to thank those who came :')
finally sixteen , which means i can find job and earn money .
today is my birthday , but i have this sad feeling now .
well sweetsixteen ? not really sweet , and every year i celebrate my birthday
just hurts me at night , i miss my ex . i miss him :'(
i miss having someone caring for me , show me he love me . I really haven't
had any relationship with anyone after i broke up with him .
Thanks for wishing me a happy birthday and really thanks for telling me
i'm beautiful & pretty & sexy & etc . But i think everyone knows that is not
true , maybe because my appearance is not gorgeous and i'm fat .
I wanna share my feelings but i can't write it on Facebook , some people will think
another way and since this blog is dead i wanna share it here nobody will know
i guess . Everytime i try to fake a smile it seems like i just can't do it , i may not be gorgeous and
slim , but i have a good heart and nobody knows me better than me and you know
what i've been thinking tomorrow i want to visit some old folks home or something like that .
i'm not saying this to impress , i mean it . but i can't .
i don't wish to continue anymore , sorry i can't take it already . Bye .